


Talking Out of Our Asses

by the_darklordofall1



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 22:13:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6027318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_darklordofall1/pseuds/the_darklordofall1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Video Harry cleared his throat and Video Louis looked back at him. “As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted,” He glared at the camera, “Will you, Lewis Will.I.Am the Tommo Tomlinson, do me the honor of being my permanent butt-buddy and marrying me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or Louis and Harry accidentally (and drunkenly) get engaged. They find our when they are hungover and Jay calls them because she found on on Facebook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talking Out of Our Asses

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fic. I hope you like it! Let me know what you think! -A

Louis was rudely woken up by the shrill sound of a phone ringing. His head hurt, his mouth tasted like something died in it, and he was nauseous. Great, he was hungover. He decided if it was important, whoever was calling him would just leave a message or call back. Louis glanced at the clock next to him. 11:30. His phone did stop ringing and he sighed, drifting back to sleep. He was startled awake once again by the phone ringing not a minute later. He groaned and attempted to roll over to grab his phone but was stopped by a heavy weight across his waist. He froze and gingerly looked over his shoulder. 

Oh. It was just Harry. The number of times he woke up in Harry’s arms should probably be alarming, but they were best friends. And best friends spooned, right?

Harry and Louis had shared an apartment ever since they moved to London to go to uni. They had moved back home to Doncaster when they had graduated and continued living together there. Louis was a drama teacher at the local high school and Harry had a bakery down the street from their flat. 

The flat they shared had two bedrooms, but on nights when they were drunk or just lonely, they usually shared a bed. Louis was probably the luckiest man on the planet to be able to live Harry. 

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of his phone ringing again. This time Harry was the one to moan. He reached behind him to the nightstand to grab at the phone without even looking. He didn’t even look at the name on the screen or even open his eyes for that matter.

“What?” Harry demanded. Louis realized as Harry answered the phone that it was in fact Louis’ phone and not Harry’s. This too was a frequent occurrence. 

A few things happened at once. Harry’s eyes bulged out of his, his mouth opened wide, and a distinct yelling came though the tinny speakers of the phone. Louis knew that voice anywhere. He had run from that voice too many times to count. Mum. Shit.

“-AND I HAD TO LEARN FROM FACEBOOK! FACEBOOK HARRY! AND YOU TOO LOUIS! I KNOW YOU’RE THERE WITH HIM!” Shit. Louis was too hungover and tired to deal with whatever his mum was going on about. 

In a panic, Harry dropped the phone to the bed between them. When Louis looked down at the phone where he could still hear his mum screaming at him, he noticed he and Harry were stark naked. That wasn’t new, but they usually at least put boxers on. 

Louis grimaced at the phone and pressed the speaker button.

“Hi, mum.”

“Louis. You can assume I was confused this morning when I kept getting messages on Facebook and texts messages from all of my friends and family congratulating me on your engagement. Seeing as you’re not even dating anyone right now that I know of, I checked Facebook and lo and behold, you’re engaged to Harry. Now, I can’t say I was surprised. I’m so proud of you for finally telling Harry you’re in love with him. But, sweetie, proposing right away? Do you really thing that’s a good idea?”

Louis grimaced at his mother’s statement. Harry just sat staring him with his jaw dropped to the floor.

“Uh, mum. Can I call you back? I need to talk to my… fiancé about something real quick. Love you!” Louis ended the call and looked up at Harry who was wearing a sheepish expression. “Well, I guess congratulations are in order Future Mr. Tomlinson.” Louis tried joking.

Harry scrunched his face up. Louis always thought it made him look like a disgruntled kitten. It was cute. But this was not the time to marvel over Harry’s cuteness. Louis suddenly felt like he was going to throw up. He bolted from the bed into the bathroom barely making it to the toilet before the contents of his stomach made an appearance. He vaguely registered Harry coming up behind him and rubbing his back, muttering soothing words into his hair.

Once he was finished expelling the leftover alcohol and food from the previous night, Louis got up and brushed his teeth swishing mouthwash around his mouthing hoping it will make his mouth not taste like ass. Harry was still in the bathroom with him looking sympathetic. 

“Thanks, Haz” he muttered when Harry handed him a pair of pants. 

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but Louis held his hand up to stop him. “I need painkillers and tea before we have this conversation.”

Harry just nodded and left the bathroom. Louis splashed some water on his face before following Harry out into the kitchen where he was boiling water for tea. They sat in silence as they drank their tea. Louis glanced up at Harry. He was staring at Louis with and unreadable expression.

After they finished their tea and Harry had put both of their mugs in the sink, Louis looked up again and saw Harry smiling. Louis cracked a smile and soon they were laughing together. 

Once they had calmed down, Louis spoke, “So, we’re getting married?”

Harry was still smiling at him. “We should probably check Facebook first just to see what is going on.”

Louis nodded in agreement and went to get both of their phone from where they had been abandoned in the bedroom. Louis handed Harry his phone while he looked on Instagram and Twitter to see if anything was there. As soon as Louis unlocked his phone he was met with little red numbers above all his social media apps. He turned his phone to show Harry and Harry did the same. It looked like Harry was in the same boat as him. 

He had 46 notifications from Instagram -the one with the least amount of notifications- and he decided to go there first. He went right to the notifications and saw he had posted a picture last night -well technically this morning- at 3:27. He had also been tagged in a picture by Harry at the same time. 

He went to his page first. It was a blurry picture of him and Harry looked quite pissed with their arms around each other. They were smiling goofily at the camera. Louis also noticed that the Louis in the picture was wearing a ring on his left ring finger. He glanced down at his hand and realized it was still there. Huh. He looked back at his phone. He had apparently captioned the picture with “Don’t you wish your fiancé was sexy like mine?” It also had the ring and middle finger emojis. The picture had 42 likes and three comments. One from each of the other boys. They all seemed to be drunken congratulations. Right. They had a boys night last night.

He went to Harry’s page and found the same picture but with a different caption. “Here comes the bride.” 

Louis again showed his phone to Harry who laughed. He looked at the picture again and squinted. Then he looked at Louis, specifically Louis’ left hand and gasped. “You’re wearing my ring,” he whispered.

Louis flushed red and looked at his hand again. He moved to take it off but Harry stopped him. “Don’t. I like how it looks. Keep it.”

Louis just blushed harder and cleared his throat. He looked back at his phone and went to Twitter next. 68 notifications. Great. He had tweeted three times and was tagged by Harry in a tweet as well. The first tweet was just the same picture from Instagram with the ring emoji. The second was “I’m tnkaeeennnnnnn biiitchesss” and a middle finger. The third tweet was a picture of a very drunk Harry making a kiss face at the camera and the caption “luckiest man in the world” with a peach, tongue and eggplant emoji. Classy. Harry’s tweet was the post on Instagram with the same caption. Each of his tweets had gotten almost thirty retweets.

Louis looked up when he heard Harry say “Aha!”

Harry turned his phone around for Louis to see. There was a video. The still was of Louis looking down at Harry who was on one knee. Harry pressed play and the video started on the screen. 

“-and I just love you so much and I want to spend forever with you, Lou.” Video Harry seemed to be in the middle of a very drunk and very romantic declaration of love, “You are the bestest most amazing person, like, ever. And I just love you.” Video Louis was crying with both is hands held over his mouth.

“He finally got Lou to shut up.” That voice sounded suspiciously like Zayn. Wanker.

Video Louis apparently didn't like that either and glared at the camera. Zayn must be videoing this then. “Excuse me, Zayn, but Harry here is trying to propose and you are being a wanker. So please kindly shut the fuck up.” Louis and Harry giggled at that.

Video Harry cleared his throat and Video Louis looked back at him. “As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted,” He glared at the camera, “Will you, Lewis Will.I.Am the Tommo Tomlinson, do me the honor of being my permanent butt-buddy and marrying me?”

Video Louis giggled and nodded his head, “Of course.” Video Harry slipped the ring off his right middle flinger and on to Louis’ left ring finger. He then stood up and kissed Louis. Louis heard Zayn, Niall, and Liam cheering in the background as well as the people who were around them in the club.

“If you twats don’t mind, my fiancé and I are going to home and passionately make love. If you will excuse us.” Video Louis took Video Harry’s hand who was now giggling like a schoolgirl. The video cut off just as Video Harry and Video Louis were walking out of the club.

Louis looked up at Harry who was watching him carefully. “So. That was quite the proposal, Romeo.” Louis joked. 

Harry chuckled. “I will have you know I am very romantic.”

“I don’t doubt it, darling.” 

Louis looked at Harry. His eyes were so green. Like grass or something. He was hungover. He could come up with poetry later. Right now, Harry was leaning in while glancing at Louis’ mouth. Louis closed his eyes and moved closer. Louis could feel Harry’s breath. He was so close-

Louis’ phone chimed. They jumped apart. Louis looked at his phone. It was a text from Niall. “I seem to remember you and Haz getting engaged last night? Congrats man!”

Louis laughed and typed out a ‘thanks’. He checked his other texts- 80 of them. Half of them were from his mother trying to get in touch with him. It looked like she had sent them before she called him. The other half were from various friends and family members congratulating him on his engagement. 

He looked over at Harry who seemed to be going through his texts as well. He heard him mumble a quiet “shit” before looking up at Louis. “My mum is furious. I should probably call her.”

“Yeah. I should call mine back as well and explain what happened was just a drunken mistake.” Louis was not looking forward to that conversation.

“Wha- what if… I… um.” Harry stuttered.

Louis looked as saw Harry was playing with his bottom lip and had a faint blush rising up his cheeks. He was nervous. Harry should never be nervous to tell Louis something. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing.” 

Louis gave Harry a stern look. “Harry, you can tell me anything. We’re best friends. You can always talk to me. So, please. Talk to me. What’s going on in that curly head of yours?” He smiled peering back at Harry.

Harry looked down and mumbled something.

“I didn’t quite catch that, love.”

“I said, what if it wasn’t a drunken mistake? What if I meant to propose? What if I’m in love with you?”

Louis was speechless. Harry had to be joking. There was no way this perfect boy was in love with him. “Haz. Please don't joke around with me.”

“I’m not joking, Lou. I am so in love with you. I have been forever. I can’t remember a time when I wasn't in love with you.”

Louis just started at Harry. He looked and sounded so sincere. “I love you, too, Harry. Always have.”

Harry smiled. “Alright. Now that that is sorted, should we call our mums and start planning a wedding?”

Louis laughed. “Are you serious? You still want to marry me? Even though you drunkenly proposed?”

“I still proposed, Lou. And I still want to marry you. If you’ll have me, that is.”

“Yeah. Of course.” Louis thought he would never stop smiling. This beautiful, perfect boy was going to marry him. He leaned forward and crashed his lips to Harry’s. After what felt like hours, but was probably minutes, the boys separated for air. “We should probably call our mums,” Louis said while Harry peppered kisses across his jaw.

Harry hummed in approval. “I guess. But I really just want to get my fiancé in bed right now,” Harry said as he wiggled his eyebrows. 

Louis giggles -god, he was such a teenage girl- and let Harry pick him up and carry him to his bedroom. Harry threw him on the bed and Louis squeaked. Harry looked at him with such love in his eyes. “Come ‘ere” Harry was quick to comply. He made his way up the bed hovering over Louis leaving the occasional kiss on his body. Once he made it up and was face to face with Louis he smiled at him sweetly and kissed him.

Louis moved his hands up to Harry’s curls and gave them a gentle tug. Harry let out a soft gasp. Louis took note of it, but moved his hands down Harry’s back to his pert little bum. He slipped his hands into the waistband of his pants and cupped his ass. 

Harry moaned and pulled back, “Lou.”

“What is it, love?”

“We, um… we, last night…”

Oh. “Oh.” 

Harry looked sheepish. “Sorry.”

“No, baby. It’s okay. I kinda wanted to bottom.”

“Oh. Okay. Yeah. Fuck, Lou. Okay.”

Louis giggled as Harry started kissing him, his hands roaming across Louis’ toned chest. Louis arched up into Harry’s touch. Harry’s hands moved down Louis’ torso to his waistband. He grabbed Louis’ pants and pulled them off. Harry then moved to take off his own, but Louis had already started tugging them off. Harry huffed out a laugh and reached over to the nightstand to grab some lube and condoms. He glanced at Louis who bit his lip and nodded.

~~

Louis was again woken up by his phone ringing. He glanced at the clock and saw it was now almost 4pm. He looked over at Harry. This was his boy. He was going to marry Harry. How did he get so lucky? He stretched his back muscles and sat up. He felt a slight twinge in his bum and smiled. He got up from the bed and went into the kitchen in search of his phone. It had stopped ringing, but he knew his mum and Anne were probably looking for him. 

As if on queue, someone knocked on the door. “Louis! Harry! You two better be decent! We’re coming in.” Jay called.

Louis groaned. Great. Both of their mums were here. “Hold on!” Louis called. He went into his room and over to the bed. He smiled at the still slumbering Harry. Louis leaned over and started kissing all over Harry’s face. Harry scrunched up his face like a kitten. Louis was so in love with him. “Hey, love. Our mums are here demanding an explanation. We should probably put some clothes on before they force their way into the flat.”

Harry grumbled but got out of ben nonetheless. He knew he couldn't avoid the combined wrath of Jay and Ann any longer. By the time he had gotten out of bed and pulled some joggers on, he could hear Louis talking to their mums in the living room. He wandered in and found their mothers standing in front of the couch where Louis was sat looking like a child who had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. He walked over and sat down next to Louis giving him a quick peck on the temple. Louis seemed to relax a bit at that.

“Do you boys want to explain what in the hell is going on?” Anne asked.

Louis and Harry looked at each other. Harry shrugged which Louis took to mean he would explain. “Lou and I got drunk last night and I proposed and now we’re getting married.”

Anne and Jay smiled at the boys in front of them. “As happy as we are to hear that loves, the last time we checked you two weren’t even dating. And now you’re engaged? We always knew you would end up getting married, but to go from friends right into fiancés? Do you think that is wise?” Jay had a point.

“Haz and I talked and we have been in love with each other for so long. We have lived together for the past five years. You two know better than anyone how close we are. We already know we work as a couple. We were practically dating for the past like eight years. We didn't really see the point in it when we know how it’s going to end up. We love each other and we want to get married and Harry already proposed. So, Why not?”

Anne and jay looked at the boys sitting in front of them and were reminded of a situation similar to the one they were in now. Harry and Louis had brought them into the Tomlinson’s living room for a ‘very important meeting’. Louis had been 14 while Harry was 12. They had sat their mums down on the sofa and told them they had something they had to tell them. They had looked at each other and Harry had reached out and grabbed Louis’ hand. Jay and Anne looked at each other both thinking this was their boy’s telling them they were a couple. 

Louis stood up straight and looked right into his mother’s eyes and said, “Mum, Anne. Harry and I asked you to come here today because we have both realized that we are gay.”

Anne and Jay looked at their boys and stood up from the couch. They each hugged their respective sons. “Oh, baby. We’re so proud of you for telling us. You know we love you very much no matter what.”

“So, how long have you boys been together?” Jay asked.

Louis looked confused. “We’re not together, mum. We are both gay, but not with each other.”

“Oh. Sorry. Just how you said it made it sound… Nevermind. We are so happy for you boys. How about we take you out for some ice cream to celebrate.”

“I want rainbow sorbet!” Harry shouted. 

Now their boys were all grown up and were getting married.

“Oh, we’re so happy for you, baby!” Jay exclaimed. He tugged Louis of the couch and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. “I’m so proud of you, Boobear. I can’t believe you’re getting married. I hate to tell you I told you so, but, Anne and I called this ten years ago when you came out to us.”

Louis laughed. “Yeah, I guess you did.”

Anne pulled Louis into a hug while Jay hugged Harry. “You take care of my boy, Louis.”

Louis looked over at his mum hugging his boy and smiled. “I promise.”

Harry looked up and saw Louis staring at him. He gave Louis a questioning look who just shook his head. ‘I love you’ he mouthed. 

‘I love you, too.’ Was the mouthed response from Harry.

Anne pulled back and wiped the tears that had started forming in her eyes. Louis looked over and noticed his mother do the same thing. “Okay. Let’s go celebrate. Rainbow sorbet?”

Louis and Harry laughed. “Is there any other way to celebrate?”

Harry giggled and kissed his fiancé. “I’m so happy, Lou.”

“Me, too.” 

Harry and Louis were too caught up in each other to notice their mothers taking a picture of them. They started at the shutter sound and found their mothers looking at them with fondness.

“We just wanted a picture to update the terrible one from last night,” Jay explained.

The boys laughed. It was a pretty bad picture. Harry looked at the picture Jay had just taken. It was them looking at each other like there was no one else in the whole world. Harry sent it to himself to put as his wallpaper so every time he looked at his phone he was reminded of his beautiful boy who he was going to marry.


End file.
